A Letter to my Son

Dec 5 2020:

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday my little Bundle of Joy.. !!

The day we had you was by far the best day of my life…

I can’t wait to see what this year brings and watch you blossom even further. I know you will be kind, good, brave, handsome and clever. You will always love your mummy the most and I will always love you with all my heart. Happy birthday to my darling boy..

A letter to my Son about why I chose an opportunity to work from Onsite leaving him back in India... !! 

Parenting from a Long Distance..

- The words themselves seems scary in the thoughts of a Mother. 

Though I decided to have you with me in 3 months and give you a different exposure and experience , COVID's border restrictions has prolonged it to 8  more months..

Dear Amudhan ,

I love you and Daddy -But I also love my job..

I am going back to work because I want to set a good example for you.

Does'nt mean that going back to work is the only way I can be an example - Perspectives.

Every Mom is different , Every Mom is special.

I want you to see that work is a part of life and it is a good part of life.

I am going to encourage you to live loudly and bravely and enjoy the pleasures of being one's own self.

I cant ask you to be brave without first showing you what it looks like.

I commit to you that the choices I make will reflect how much I love you.

And how much I want you to grow up to be a strong , bold and a composed human.

There might be a question in your mind , Amma - are your dreams and ambitions more important than me?

No my dear son , definitely not.. You are the most precious gift I have got in my life. There is nothing more important than you – not even my own self.

Yes I do miss some moments where I wish I didn’t have this hat of a working mom. But not even a single second I have felt guilty for choosing this option.

Work is not only about Money , work is more than that. There might be a feeling that I am behind money and left you back - it really hits me hard. It might seem that we are having fun leaving you back. 

Money is not the only reason why people choose to work, there are a lot of things that comes in  – satisfaction, self-respect, confidence , a complete package.

Its not about Money , Its not about Fun..

Its about Life with full of Life in it..

Yes , me and Daddy had a very blissful year of happiness and pure love though we missed you so much , we are not guilty of having done so. Your Dad being a very busy person , I had got very less time to share with him in the last 4 years and this year , with all the support from his team back in India , we had the luxury to have the entire time for our ownselves. 

Its all about perceptions , Its all about preferences.. ! 

I want to tell you, that I work because I have the passion to work – more than the need. 

I take pride in ensuring that I am capable of being your support system in whichever form you need. 

What I have learnt from this one beautiful year and what I would expect you to practice and believe in..

I am a happy person and I choose my preferences and I want you to be the same without guilts and without any burden on the heart..

I am able to see only the positive side of every person and I am happily surrounded with beautiful people around.

I am able to take all the essence of positivity from every person I meet.

I am happy and satisfied on the decisions that I make.

More than everything , I am contented with what I have and what I owe.

I cant express how much supportive your Dad is for all the decisions that I make. He has stood through his promise and made me feel proud for having him in my Life.

And all I want is 'You should grow up to be Him'

I just have one deep and silent wish – that when you grow up as a mature adult – you come to me and say – Amma, I am proud of you!

By bringing you , my Mom and Dad here for a short span of time, I wanted to give a different experience. Unfortunately,  Covid has taken a toll and all the planning went in vain. 

Waiting for 10 months when the Love of my Life was growing inside my tummy is seemingly easy now. The wait now is 14 months and I had to wait 20 more days to hold you in my hands. Its definitely not easy to go through such a phase in life , leaving you back and miss seeing you grow. 

But as I said , you are in the 'Best Hands in the World'..

Loving Grandma who never winks her eyes for a second and the only thought that runs in her mind since the day you are born is - to take utmost care of you. My Amma - She has given voluntary Retirement from Service to her passionate job to take care of you and to support me grow in my career.

Grandpa - After doing one full round of hardwork for his kids , he is now all geared up to shoulder the responsibility for his Grandkids as well.

Chithi , Chitha - You are the luckiest in the world Amudhan , for you have the best people to take care of you . People always say 'No one cares for you like your parents. But your chithi and chitha had proved it wrong .They have taken care of you more than their own child from the minute I left you back. Even after Charmika's birth they had made sure that you are their first priority in every way possible which makes me go speechless.

Aaya - She has been the strongest pillar of support for me ever since I was born. And its the same thing for you as well. She is overwhelmed seeing you grow and you are lucky to be with her and grow in a surrounding which has her positive vibe and touch.

Should I feel guilty for leaving you back or Should I feel happy for I have such a supporting environment which drives me go behind my Dream..

This is me Now ...!

I am bidding a 'GoodBye' to this opportunity in New Zealand as the near future situation and the  border restrictions has a built a strong wall of separation between you and me. 

I am starting my travel back on Dec 24 2020. Eagerly waiting for the moment to see you , to feel you , to smell you and to spend every moment with you..

With Loads of Love,

Amudhan Amma